My friend's banger kale smoothie

  • 1. kale - whatever ur heart desires
  • 2. carrot - half
  • 3. frozen banana - the "frozen" part is important
  • 4. almond milk - a shit ton
  • 5. peanut butter - only a lil bit
  • 6. honey - an eempy deempy bit (optional)

    • Blend that shit up and it's done

    Jay's Epic Mapo Tofu

  • 2 medium blocks of tofu
  • 8oz total of mushroom/ground pork/ground beef
  • 1 pickled wet red pepper
  • 2 tbsp ginger, finely diced
  • 1 bulb's worth of garlic, diced
  • 2 stalks of green onion or garlic sprout, chopped thinly
  • 1 handful of green Chinese peppercorn
  • 6 dried red peppers (look for a Sichuan brand)
  • 1 dried lantern pepper (something like this)
  • 1 "spoonful" DouBanJiang
  • 1 spoonful fermented black bean paste
  • 1/2 spoon fermented chili oil with soybean (or TianMianJiang)
  • Lil bit o' soy sauce
  • Sesame seeds for topping
  • a TINY bit of sesame oil for topping at the end as well
  • 6 dried red peppers (look for a Sichuan brand)
  • (Optional) chinese peppercorn oil. Example.

    • Ok I'm too lazy to type up the step-by-step instructions but
    basically follow our lord and savior Chef Wang Gang
    and he does it better than I do anyway lmao.

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